Dolphins? Common as anything
by - 13:43 on 02 August 2007
Scene:
Scene 1
Outside the Old Forge, Inverie, Knoydart. On a wooden picnic table. About lunchtime. (Actually, it was about 2 o’clock.)
A waitress leaves a bowl of mussels in front of the male customer.
He: ‘Mmm. Thanks. These look good.’
He proceeds to eat heartily, dipping his bread in the cooking liqueur. Suddenly there is a commotion from the other tables and general noises of ‘Ooh. Look. There they are.’ Arms are raised, pointing to a disturbance in the calm waters around the yachts moored offshore.
She: ‘Wow, that must be a dolphin. Did you see it?’
He. ‘These are so good. Hmm. Lovely. What? No. it’ll be a harbour porpoise. Pass the bread.’
She. ‘Do you want your camera?’
He: ‘No, the bread. So fresh – the mussels.’
She: ‘Wooh, there they are again. I really think they’re dolphins.’
He: ‘Really excellent. Better than any city restaurant.’
She: ‘Dont you want to photograph them?’
He: ‘No, I’ve eaten half of them.’
She: (patience wearing thin but determined to be tolerant) ‘No, I meant the dolphins.’
He: ‘What? Oh, I suppose I ought to. But I don’t want these to get cold.’
She: ‘Just give me the camera then.’
He: ‘Sure, help yourself. You’ll need the long lens. Hmm. Wonder how they’ve cooked these? Garlic. Splash of white wine, I suppose.’
She: (muffled voice, with eye on viewfinder) ‘Will you shut up about the mussels and shout if you see a splash out there.’
He: ‘Oh, right-oh. There’s one now’.
She: ‘Missed it. Wait, think I might have got one. Someone’s just said they’re common dolphins.’
He: ‘Can’t see what’s common about them when everyone’s making such a fuss. Anyway, you can watch dolphins anytime, but mussels like these you don’t see everyday. I should have taken a picture of them.’
The dolphins splash and play around for a while, before leaving the bay, slightly miffed that they have played second fiddle to a plateful of bivalves. The couple order coffee and continue to stare at the view. The Old Forge was extra miled a while ago.
She: ' I did take a photo of your lunch..okay, it was with my wee camera that doesn't have your fancy equipment. Next time I’ll try to get the mussels and the dolphins in the pic at the same moment.'
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