Caa Canny - Tourists Ahead

by - 21:04 on 01 October 2007

I see the Cairngorms National Park Authority was taking some flak in the press recently because of the number of not always helpful notices displayed by local landowners within the park boundaries. Presumably these owners feel a bit uneasy about how the Land Reform (Scotland) Act 2003 and its much publicised ‘right to roam’ is working out in practice. Read about countryside rights and responsibilities at www.ramblers.org.uk/scotland/accessN/index.html

It made me think about some of the notices I have encountered in my Scottish stravaiging (Scots for ‘wandering’. If you listen very carefully, you hear this word used once by Mary Poppins, who pronounces it ‘stravidging’, while admonishing one of the children, in the original film version of ‘The Sound of Music’. ( Aargh! See comment below. What am I talking about here? I'd just like to point out that I'm much better on tourism topics than I am on the life of Julie Andrews.) 

Now where was I? Oh yes, notices. I once saw an uncompromising ‘No Tourists’ painted on a board nailed to a fencepost. Where? Ah, well, it was down a wee track in an out of the way corner on the island of Unst. It was in 1989, in the middle of the lambing season. And it was a slight on the otherwise friendly folk of Shetland.

Then there was another notice I remember from around the same time – sadly, it’s also gone now. It was neatly painted on a board at Portmore Loch, which is off the Edinburgh to Peebles Road, on the very edge of the hills. Honestly, this notice read ‘Edinburgh Traffic Wardens are Banned from Fishing in the Loch’. I never found out why.

I was once told about a walker on moorland somewhere in Scotland (sorry to be vague here) who saw a signboard on a post, far off across the heathland. He struggled across the heather to reach it. In a quite surreal moment, he then found it read ‘It is forbidden to throw stones at this notice.’ That was all.

Here’s a new one I noticed just the other day. It’s on the gate by Covesea Skerries lighthouse by Lossiemouth. You can stay here, as the old keepers’ accommodation is available through the National Trust for Scotland. You can also tell it’s an NTS notice because it’s tied on with posh picture-hanging string. (So it won’t be there long.) They could have been polite and helpful by saying ‘Sorry this is private. Read more about this lighthouse at www.ntsholidays.com’. Missed a marketing opportunity there, eh?

If you do want to rent the lighthouse cottage – and I really don’t know why I’m bothering** – you can see it at www.ntsholidays.com/AccommodationDetails.aspx

In the recent press comment on the proliferation of notices, I saw that the Forestry Commission was cited for displaying a ‘Beware of Adders’ sign. Shame on them! An old metal version of this sign has stood for years on the A939, a mile or two south-east of Corgarff, on the edge of the moorland between the Rivers Don and Dee. I thought it was unique and had always assumed it was some keeper’s ploy to keep wanderers (or do I mean stravaigers?) off the grouse moor. Besides, lots of people, especially non-natives, don’t know what an adder is and certainly don’t realise it is Scotland’s only venomous snake, though fatalities are very, very rare. Incidentally, as a real stravaiger (oh stop it), I’ve only ever seen an adder about, ooh, five times in my life. They usually hide away.

Aside from ridiculous warnings about timid reptiles, it’s a relief to consider Scotland’s other more charming notices. I’m thinking here of ‘Caa canny doon the brae’ for example, obeyed only by native Scots speakers. (Take care on the incline.) ‘Caa canny at the neuks’ is in the same vein. (Take care on the corners, though this one is a bit more contrived.) Shetland’s ‘Redd up yer Bruck’ – tidy away your litter/junk – is still around, as is ‘Dunna chuck bruck’, an equally sensible sentiment. I’m sure non-natives can work that one out for themselves…

**It’s because you’re going the extra mile, stupid. And you can stop being grumpy.

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